Family situations
Where do wedding party dates sit?
A long head table seats the attendants and leaves their partners somewhere else. The kindest fix is a table of dates right in front, with a view of the people they came with.
Updated
A traditional head table seats the couple and the wedding party in a row facing the room. It looks lovely. It also separates every attendant from the person they came with for the whole of dinner. Their partners need somewhere good to sit, and the answer affects how the evening feels for eight or ten people.
The chart below shows one good answer. We pasted a made-up list of 80 guests into Tablecharm, with the couple, Poppy and Nico, and four attendants tagged for the head table. Their four partners, Kit, Leon, Ruby and Maya, were each pasted on a line of their own. We dragged all four to Table 2, the round directly across the dance floor from the head table, and solved. They sit there together, facing the people they came with.
Three good answers
There are three common ways to seat wedding party partners, and each is correct:
- At the head table, beside their partner, if the table is long enough.
- At a table right in front of the head table, together with other partners and friends.
- With their partner at a regular table, because you chose a sweetheart table instead of a long head table.
The one arrangement to avoid is scattering partners across the room at tables of strangers. A partner who knows only one person at the wedding, and cannot sit with them, has a long evening.
A dates table in front
The table directly in front of the head table is often the best seat for partners. They can see and wave to the person they came with. They sit together, so they have each other to talk to, and several may already be friends. It is also a warm place to seat a couple of the attendants' close friends.
In the chart, Table 2 is the middle round of the front row, straight across the dance floor from the head table. The four partners fill half of it; four other guests fill the rest. When dinner ends, the attendants walk a few steps and join them.
How the chart above was made
The attendants were tagged "wedding party", so the solver seated them at the head table, which in Tablecharm is reserved for the couple, the wedding party and anyone you place there. The partners were pasted on their own lines and tagged "dates". Then we dragged each partner to Table 2. Dragging a guest to a table pins them there, and every later solve keeps the pin.
The other approach is to paste each partner on the same line as their attendant, like "Iris Applegate and Kit Snowberry". Then they are one household, and Tablecharm lets the partner sit with the attendant at the head table. The plus-ones guide shows that version solved.
At the head table, if it fits
Seating partners at the head table is generous and increasingly common. Check the size first: four attendants and four partners plus the couple is ten people, which is a long table. Ask the venue whether they can extend it and whether everyone will still face the room.
If some attendants have partners and others do not, the head table can look uneven. Seating all the partners together in front avoids that question.
Partners who are strangers to the room
Some partners are new: a recent boyfriend, a date the attendant met last month. They may know nobody else. Seating them at the dates table with other partners gives them company, and the partners' table often becomes one of the friendliest in the room.
After the solve, Tablecharm lists anyone who knows nobody at their table, judged from households, tags and neighboring lines in your list. A shared tag like "dates" is enough for it to count them as company for each other.
Questions couples ask
Do bridesmaids' dates sit at the head table?
They can, if the table is long enough. More often they sit together at a table right in front of it, where they can see the attendants.
Where do groomsmen's girlfriends sit?
The same as any wedding party partner: at the head table with them, at a partners' table right in front, or with them at a regular table if you have a sweetheart table.
Is it rude to separate couples at the reception?
Not for the wedding party during dinner; it is traditional. Make sure partners have a good table with company, and that they can join their partner after dinner.
How do I keep partners at one table in Tablecharm?
Drag each of them to the table you want. The move pins them there through every later solve.
Give the partners a good table
Paste your list below and solve. Tag the wedding party, then drag their partners to the table you want; the rest of the room settles around them.
No list handy? Try it with a sample list first. The editor and solver are free, with every table readable in preview. Payment is for final files and the guest link.
Useful next
- Head table vs sweetheart table: the choice that decides where partners sit
- Who sits at the head table: the usual options
- Head table etiquette: who sits nearby
